I’m going to put something in here which I should really have included somewhere in the diary last year. My uncle Peter, known as Miles in his latter years, wrote a letter to his son Philip, my cousin, a few weeks before he died in autumn 2008. I wrote about my uncle and about that side of my family in the diary entries at that time. A copy of the letter came into my possession then, and I remember reading it to my parents as they sat up in bed one morning in late 2008 or early 2009. I must have left them the copy, and I didn’t keep one myself, and then it disappeared when we were clearing the house after my parents died. Anyway, Mary had a copy too, and copies of various other documents to do with my uncle and his parents, and she made further copies for me last year. Here’s the letter.
28 August ’08
15 Albert Terrace, Middlesbrough
Dear Phil
When you thought I was at death’s door and I began to wonder myself, I suddenly panicked that if I were going over that edge, none of you would ever know anything about your grandfather, and a grandfather is an essential link in the chain connecting us to our ancestors.
Well, I have come back from that cliff edge for the time being and have had time to write this short account of my father. I have stuck to what seemed essentials to bring out basic differences between us which make it impossible to infer a grandfather from a father, which can be done when a father sets himself up to his son as a role model, and the son accepts this relation. It wasn’t like that and from the day I told him I was going to be a conscientious objector our ways parted. All father’s work was covered by the Official Secrets Act. From the outbreak of war in 1939 the Admiralty (or the part of it in which he was) was moved from London to Bath and my brother, Ivor, moved with me into a boarding house near our old home, which was shut up. Ivor was doing ‘A’ levels and I was at art school at Kingston-on-Thames. Mother had died in 1936, aged 42, when I was 13. An almost idyllic childhood was over, and I got through the next few years as best I could, like everyone else. Father read The Times every day, taking it to bed with him if he hadn’t finished everything, including the crossword. He had watched the rise of Hitler with anxiety and on the day when Chamberlain came back from Munich waving a piece of paper which everyone except the PM knew was worthless, his anxiety overcame his usual calm. When he came into our bedroom to draw the curtains and get us up for school he said, ‘If I had ever dreamed that this day would come, I would never have had you children.’ An odd thing to hear when you are waking from sleep and have had a very good life. But that life soon began to change with increasing momentum. Going to school we found ourselves digging trenches in the playing fields instead of lessons, being issued with gas masks which we had to carry at all times and do gas mask drill every day. And in 1939 everything changed completely and father virtually disappeared from our lives. He made brief visits to see us in our boarding house whenever he could, otherwise he was completely engaged with the war. He travelled from Bath all over the world, but of course could never tell us where he was or where he was going, and when a new design of submarine, the Thetis, was reported to have failed to resurface and was lying on the floor of the Irish sea, I worried for weeks that he might be lying there too, since I knew that he often went on sea trials. Until he wrote one day, as he always did when he could: he hadn’t been part of that tragic loss.
I hope all this explains my panic when you thought I was dying. A normal relation between father and son began to end in my early teens and culminated in his condemnation of me as a coward and traitor. But I was still his son and he took that responsibility very seriously and came very willingly to meet David Bomberg, probably in 1947. From then on we had an increasingly close relation. I would cycle to Bath to stay with him and he would come to my flat in Ladbroke Grove. The war was over and normal communication resumed. But he had only two more years to live, not enough time to recover from the long break in our relation.
Of course it is impossible to write objectively about oneself. We interpret ourselves subjectively from inside. But having had two months of idleness which gave me plenty of time to go over 80 years and see my father from a distance of 60 years since his death, he does emerge as someone with qualities I haven’t met with in anyone else except Bomberg: an unshakeable integrity to his beliefs. And thinking there was no way you could infer this character in your grandfather from your observation of me, but I could see some of his qualities emerging in his grandchildren, put me under pressure to describe him as best I could while I was still fit enough.
With much love to you all
Dad
In the same and the next month, my uncle wrote the following two brief memoirs of his parents. The first covers some of the same ground as in his letter to Philip.
George William Richmond 1890-1949
My father died when I was 27. He was hard to know, his reticence hid a character of great integrity. He was almost always calm but his real feelings emerged on the day I told him I had decided to be a conscientious objector, and refuse to fight in the war. He sat stunned, and then burst out: ‘You my son, I’ve always brought up to love his country, a coward and a traitor to it in its hour of need! I’m doing what I can, your brothers have gone to do their duty, like everyone else, and you choose to be a coward and a traitor!’ He sat shaking. After a while he calmed himself, his thoughtful quiet voice returned, and he never mentioned the subject again. But he had to tell me that my decision had broken his heart.
He had devoted his life to the navy, working as an engineer. By the outbreak of war he had become one of two engineer inspectors responsible for the mechanical efficiency of the navy, a duty he discharged with tireless devotion. He loved the sea and in the wildest storms was never seasick.
He had been brought up in conditions of hardship. His parents came from the northern working class. By intelligence, determination and hard work he passed exams, won scholarships and succeeded, by his early twenties, in escaping the impoverished conditions of his childhood, and was working at the Admiralty in London, with leisure to go to theatres and galleries, learn to play the violin and study our history and literature. He loved Shakespeare, and enjoyed taking part in amateur theatricals, meeting professional actors whenever he could.
But he never forgot his working-class roots, believed passionately in a society where everyone was equal. He always treated people of whatever position in the same way, with quiet respect, genuinely believing that we are all equal. He never wanted wealth and thought that all rank and privilege should be abolished. Not being a revolutionary, he expressed his views by personal example. However important the job he was doing, he never presumed it gave him personal importance. Short in stature, he always dressed modestly and looked like any other civil servant, that is how he saw himself. His idealism was ridiculed by those who thought he lacked common sense. Their views made no impression on him. Common sense, he thought, usually meant no more than self-interest; he was concerned with the common good.
As an associate of the Institute of Mechanical Engineering and a member of the Institute of Standards, he would lecture, towards the end of his life, on the importance of maintaining the highest standards in engineering. He was right to do so; those standards have been falling alarmingly since his death. Personal integrity, capable of taking responsibility for those standards, too often replaced by self-interest, ‘passing the buck’ replacing devotion to a service.
I think his harsh judgement of me softened after his meeting with David Bomberg, who persuaded him that painting could also be a way of serving one’s country, and I believed I had the talent to serve it in that way. He would sometimes say: ‘My work, after all, is only concerned with destruction, yours may be constructive.’
He knew he was going to die and would discuss it in a practical way. He had never wanted things, possessions or position. He believed in a cultured community of equals.
I believe he has gone, perhaps with relief, from a world of time to one of eternity, where thoughts of death no longer concern him, and he can continue his concern for the common good.
He died in 1949. I painted ‘The living know that they shall die, the dead know not anything’. This painting is still the best tribute I can make him. No kind of thing interested him, he is undisturbed by their absence.
He sets us a courageous example of the value of principles when we are faced with conflicting alternatives and expediency seems common sense.
Grace Muriel Richmond 1894-1936
My mother was the daughter of a prosperous Yorkshire businessman and a gentle mother of Cornish descent. The men of her family had gone to sea time out of mind. Mother had a wonderful voice which was trained by a good teacher, and had high hopes of a professional career. These were dashed by the outbreak of war in 1914 when women were directed into work useful to the war effort. Mother worked in a factory until her marriage in 1916.
From her parents, mother inherited two characteristics. Her father believed in getting on in the world, becoming as wealthy as possible, and enjoyed the pleasures that wealth can bring: expensive cars, a comfortable home and the freedom to play golf as often as he wished. From her mother the idea that the sea was the ideal calling for a son.
Their house was full of portraits of old naval officers, some of them might have survived from the eighteenth century. Her grandmother had been born in Cape Town in 1840 where her father, a naval architect, was building a dockyard. When I was still in my cot I remember her bringing an uncle, a naval officer, to see me. He towered above me, a remote stranger.
Between Bill’s birth in 1918 and mine in 1922, my mother had suffered a miscarriage of a boy who died at birth or shortly afterwards. This harrowing loss, during which mother was very ill and had some near-death experiences, perhaps contributed to her passionate desire to see me following her mother’s family tradition. I was taken at an early age to naval reviews at Spithead. But the more I descended into the cramped interior of submarines, or was taken all over the vast bulks of battleships and cruisers and watched torpedoes fired, the more loathing I got for a naval life. But mother was relentless in her ambition. Father’s socialist principles and the modest salary he earned as a civil servant ruled out the possibility of sending me to a public school, which in those days was the normal route to the Naval College at Dartmouth aged 16. Mother found a possible solution. We lived in Twickenham, and probably because of some ancient benefactor there were three scholarships every year to Christ’s Hospital. If I could gain entrance to this public school it would pave my way to Dartmouth. Aged 9 I was sent to a crammers, a retired headmaster, who coached me in maths and grammar. I took the entrance exam at 10+ and was bracketed for third place, the outcome to be decided by oral interview. Whether out of shyness or horror at what might lie before me I was more or less speechless and failed to win a place. The news came by post at breakfast time. Mother’s disappointment was painful and I had to hide my relief. I was sent to the front door to collect the milk and the nervous tremors caused by the conflicting feelings of mother and son made me drop and smash a quart bottle of milk over the tiled porch. This disaster compounded my incompetence in mother’s eyes. Fortunately father, who believed that children should decide on a career for themselves, took my part and cleared up the mess of milk and glass. Whether this disappointment contributed to her death from cancer three years later I don’t know, but I do know that I felt guilty for years that her early death wasn’t the unmitigated grief it was for father but mixed with relief that what had come to seem a threat hanging over my life was finally removed.
From her father’s attitude to the world, mother had difficulty reconciling herself to father’s socialist idealism. While still quite young I remember occasions when he was head-hunted by private industry with tempting offers of salaries surpassing those of civil servants. But he always declined, saying that he had given his loyalty to the public service and there it would remain. Mother would say, with some irritation, ‘You know we could do with a bit more money,’ but for all his devotion to her he would not change his principles. His father-in-law showed his contempt for his ideals by disinheriting his daughter, leaving his wealth to his sons.
During the bleak days following the Wall Street crash of 1929, mother worked tirelessly to shelter us from the depression which blighted so many lives. She took lodgers, kept bees and learnt all the craft of bee-keeping, knitted all our jerseys and socks on knitting machines with tireless devotion to her children, carried on the singing she loved as long as she was able before cancer robbed her of the strength to go on. A loving and devoted mother, and a child’s resentment shouldn’t blind me to her virtues.
I’m very grateful to have these writings, because previously I knew much less about my father’s and uncle’s forebears than about my mother’s. Both my paternal grandparents had died before my parents were married (perhaps Mum and Dad were already courting when my paternal grandfather died, but I know that she didn’t meet him), whereas I knew my mother’s and my maternal grandmother’s parents well. I remember saying humorously to my parents after I had read them the letter, speaking of my paternal grandfather’s socialism, ‘I’ve always wondered where I got it from.’ They laughed. He was an old-fashioned Liberal, she a Conservative. I’ve probably recorded this next exchange with my father somewhere in the diary before, but here it is again. We were sitting in my parents’ pleasant back garden one day, discussing politics. Dad said, ‘The point of politics is to enable people to sit quietly in their back gardens.’ I said, ‘The point of politics is to enable people to have quiet back gardens to sit in.’
My uncle’s complex relationship with both his parents is touching. Concerning his remark at the time of the spilling of milk that his father ‘believed that children should decide on a career for themselves’, the thought crossed my mind while typing the piece that my grandfather didn’t exactly follow that belief when my uncle told him he would refuse to fight in the war.
I’ve heard various stories about my grandfather’s secret heroics during the war. The most exotic is that the Royal Navy had a major engineering problem with some ships in Alexandria. My grandfather was wrapped up in a blanket and flown there in a Lancaster (no heating on board). He fixed the problem, and then reported to the nearest RAF base to request a flight back, as he had been promised. Some officious person laughed in his face, not knowing who he was or the importance of what he had done. My grandfather, the least likely person to pull rank, telephoned the Admiralty to tell them he was stuck. Hours later, an angry order from Churchill himself arrived at the base, telling them to put this man on the next plane home. I don’t suppose that the return journey was any more comfortable than the outward.
David Bomberg was the defining influence on my uncle’s development as a young painter. He taught him at Borough Road Polytechnic (now South Bank University), and my uncle later followed Bomberg and his wife when they moved to the south of Spain, near Ronda. I’ve seen the painting ‘The living know that they shall die, the dead know not anything’, to which my uncle refers in his memoir of his father. The title quotes Ecclesiastes, chapter 9, verse 5. It stayed with me for years after I saw the painting, and emerged in my poem ‘Internal Eclogue at 60’. I noticed the other day, walking down Borough High Street, that a building containing halls of residence for South Bank University is now called David Bomberg House.
Last Saturday was the tenth anniversary of my father’s death.
Brexit update: on Wednesday evening/Thursday morning, the 27 EU leaders extended our membership of the EU until 31 October. Theresa May had asked for an extension only until 30 June, but the eventual decision of the 27 was that there was no chance that we could sort ourselves out by then. Macron wanted to stick to 30 June, and throw us out on that date if we hadn’t previously decided how to leave; many of the others wanted to give us a full year to make up our minds. So at about two o’clock in the morning of Thursday they split the difference. If we do agree how to leave at any time before 31 October, we can leave on the first day of the month following ratification by both sides. It seems very likely that we shall have to participate in the European elections on 23 May, since getting an agreement to pass Parliament before then is almost impossible, particularly as MPs yesterday went off on their Easter holidays. They’ll return on 23 April. So we may be in the anomalous position of electing representatives to a parliament which we intend imminently to leave. If we don’t take part in the elections, and have not come to an agreement by then, we shall be ejected on 1 June.
No one has said, definitely, that 31 October is the very last extension date. The agony could even be prolonged beyond that, though I doubt it. The Conservative Party is now mainly preoccupied with getting rid of its leader, although she has no obligation to leave until some sort of deal goes through (and even then, I suppose she could argue that she had only promised to stand down once her deal got through, not once any deal got through). The customs union compromise still seems to me the obvious one, particularly as the Irish prime minister supported it the other day, and said that the UK couldn’t be expected to be a ‘silent partner’ in such a union; we would have a full voice at that table. I’ve always thought that those who have confidently said that we would have to be ‘rule-takers, not rule-makers’ (weary cliché) in a customs union were wrong; it seems I was right.
My great fear is that whatever we may agree in the short term while Mrs May is prime minister could be undone once she is replaced by someone more extremely anti-EU. We could be in for years of angry wrangling over our future relationship with people who should be our closest allies and friends. If I were Jeremy Corbyn or Keir Starmer, I’d yield something quite significant (the second referendum) in return for getting something quite significant (the customs union) and then approach the EU about making this a legal treaty too, rather than just an aspiration. A treaty would be much harder to undo. But I know that’s wishful thinking, because the hard politics of the matter means that Mrs May is not going to do anything that threatens to split the Conservative party. At the moment, it’s hard to see any way out of the slough of despond and impotence which we have knowingly got ourselves into.
I wrote quite a lot last year about Montaigne. I just want to transfer into the diary a few last quotations I made then.
Page 590 of the Penguin edition: ‘Most of the world’s squabbles are occasioned by grammar!’ (I kept thinking about this when I was doing my talk for Exeter, which included a section on the grammar debate.)
Pages 637 and 638: ‘Even in the case of my own writings I cannot always recover the flavour of my original meaning; I do not know what I wanted to say and burn my fingers making corrections and giving it some new meaning for want of recovering the original one — which was better. I go backwards and forwards: my judgement does not always march straight ahead, but floats and bobs about, velut minuta magno / Deprensa navis in mari vesaniente vento. [Like a tiny boat buffeted on the ocean by a raging tempest.]’ (A lovely admission by a great writer about the difficulty of really saying what you want to say.)
Page 709: ‘Nihil tam inaestimabile est quam animi multitudinis. [Nothing is less worth esteeming than the mind of the many.]’ (This is a piece of elitism to which I find myself more and more attracted as Brexit drags on. A burgher of Watford was on the radio at lunchtime saying that what our country needs now is ‘my old mate Boris’. Winston Churchill, that great believer in the European project, was right when he said that parliamentary democracy is the worst possible way of organising societies apart from all the others.)
Page 715: ‘…there is no polity which has not brought in some vain ceremonial honours, or some untruths, to serve as a bridle to keep the people to their duties; that is why most of them have fables about their origins and have beginnings embroidered with supernatural mysteries.’ (Absolutely right, although I would include Christianity in that charge, and of course the great humanist Montaigne was a pious Catholic.)
Page 722: ‘Nothing of mine [he means of his writings] satisfies my judgement. My insight is clear and balanced but when I put it to work it becomes confused: I have most clearly assayed that in the case of poetry. I have a boundless love for it; I know my way well through other men’s works; but when I set my own hand to it I am truly like a child: I find myself unbearable. You may play the fool anywhere else but not in poetry: Mediocribus esse poetis / Non dii, non homines, non concessere columnae. [Poets are never allowed to be mediocre by the gods, by men or by publishers.] Would to God that the following saying was written up above our printers’ workshops to forbid so many versifiers from getting in: verum / Nil securius est malo Poeta. [truly nothing is more self-assured than a bad poet.]’ (Amen, except that it’s not true that publishers don’t allow mediocre poets to get printed, and I don’t quite understand the distinction by which publishers apparently forbad mediocre poetry but printers allowed it, at a time when — I suppose — there was less difference between the two than there is today.)
A few weeks ago, we had lunch with Martyn Coles and Pamela Dix and our old friend Peter Howell and his partner Edward. Peter is a classicist and an expert on Martial. He kindly sent me his book about the poet’s life and work. Martial wrote hundreds of epigrams, gathered into fourteen books: satirical, sardonic, saucy or obscene. Epigram was the only form he used. I bought the complete works in the Loeb edition, and read them all. In the end, I can’t truly love these neat, pert little squibs, but I’ve just done loose translations of a dozen, and sent them to Peter in the hope that they aren’t too loose. Here they are.
1.28
You think Acerra stinks of wine from last night’s cup.
You’re wrong. He always drinks until the sun is up.
1.33
Alone, Gellia doesn’t mourn her father, who has passed away,
but turns the waterworks on full in company.
Gellia, seeking praise in mourning shows your tears are for display;
he truly grieves who grieves when no one’s there to see.
1.63
Celer, you ask me please to read my poems out.
I won’t. You never listen; only want to spout.
1.64
You’re pretty, young and rich, Fabulla. Everyone agrees.
But when you praise yourself too highly, you are none of these.
2.3
Sextus, you have no debts; no, none at all, we’re bound to say.
To be a debtor, one must have the wherewithal to pay.
2.21
Postumus, some you kiss, to others give your hand. You ask,
‘Which greeting would you like, my friend? You choose.’
So here’s my choice: to shake your hand’s the less unpleasant task.
3.51
Each time I praise your face, admire your legs and hands, you say,
‘You’d like me even better naked.’ Galla, you’re a tease.
Why won’t you take a bath with me today (or any day)?
I know: you doubt, with nothing on, I’d be a sight to please.
3.58
That publican who lately served me at Ravenna is a cheat.
I asked for wine and water; craftily, he sold the rot-gut neat.
5.83
You chase me, I flee; you flee, I chase you.
What you want, I don’t; what you don’t, I do.
We just can’t agree. It’s like that with me.
11.19
Galla, you ask, persistently, ‘Why can’t we two be wed?’
Your speech is too refined. My cock talks Cockney when in bed.
12.46
You’re difficult and easy. To my taste you’re sweet and sour.
I couldn’t live with you a day, nor lose you for an hour.
12.80
In order not to praise those that he should,
our Callistratus praises all. How kind!
But here’s the rub: if, no one, to his mind,
is ever bad, can anyone be good?