So plagued and pestered by the enterprises which supply
this average consumer’s daily needs and wants am I
that, pressed to fritter precious moments of my working day
responding to the plea, ‘How did we do?’, here’s what I say:

‘No comment. Gas, electric light provider, I refuse,
confronted by a scowling or a grinning face, to choose.
Deliverer of wine or internet, do not expect
that, after grave and lengthy cogitation, I’ll select
“the statement matching closely my opinion”. Save your breath.

And yet, you’ve planted an idea. The day before my death,
I’ll send an urgent questionnaire, by email, text or post,
to be completed when I’m gone by those who loved me most,
requesting their snap judgement on a scale of one to five:
“How did I do, dear hearts, when I was formerly alive?”’